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LADY DEE ELLE'S MAID FIONA/BEAUTY TIPS/TRANSGENDERED FIELD GUIDE

accepted three fingers inside and is begging to be fucked.

Fiona is a vision of loveliness as I cram her narrow hole with the large vibrating dildo. I caress down the length of her flanks and watch her quiver. She pumps hard into the bed while I'm priming her asshole. Her movements set off a fire in my cunt and I know that I will explode when she does. I fuck her by positioning the dildo with my left hand. My right thumb stimulates my hard clitty while my fingers reach down to stroke her cock and balls. She screams when she cums against the pil- lows. I rub my soaking pussy lips against her bouncing derriere. My orgasm is as intense as hers.

"Look at the mess you've made," I scold her. "Tonight you get to sleep on the wet spot.'

It is usually near midnight by the time we finish playing. I re- lease Fiona and tell her to get undressed and put up her hair. We both sit in the hot tub, under the stars, to relax before going to bed. Fiona makes sure that my wine glass is filled. I allow her to have a glass of wine and we both chat together like friends. I do not want to have to dominate her constantly. It would become te- dious. We also like other things in life and enjoy sharing our ex- periences.

"And Fiona, don't forget that you're a lady. Sit down when you pee." Before she goes, remind her, "Your lipstick needs fixing."

When Fiona returns, she shyly hands me the bag containing her panties. I open the bag and hold the lacy black panties up so the men at the next table can see. "Look, my poor girlfriend's elas- tic broke. Now she's not wearing any panties."

The men laugh and Fiona is mortified. She hold her head down and won't look at anyone when we leave the lounge.

In the privacy of the house Fiona is sizzling and ready for action. The evening out got her hormones flowing and she was in heat. We enjoyed several hours of hot, passionate sex.

Sunday mornings are a little depressing for us. Fiona has to leave at noon for the city. We both have work and responsibili- ties, so we can't live our fantasy life every day. Fiona usually mas- sages my feet and then we in- dulge in a leisurely breakfast to- gether. Even though she is not dressed and in makeup, Fiona still serves me.

Before she leaves, I always give her a fiery spanking to re- member me by. Her rump is blaz- ing during that long drive back to the city.

That is how I enjoy my week- ends. How about you?

Unfortunately, my pretty will be moving away soon and I am looking for a replacement. If you are single, available, live on Van- couver Island and preferably passable, I would love to talk with you. Write to me care of this magazine.

Fiona would love to meet an- other Dominant Mistress in the Vancouver area. You can write to her care of this magazine.

We are both sincere people, looking for long term romance and friendship, not one night stands.

BEAUTY TIPS Continued from page 15 group of women friends, and if you stay with it, will change your health, looks, and inner self in very positive ways. You can (and should) do it in the privacy of your own living room using your VCR and TV (television-not transvestite).

In addition, both Kathy and Cher include a very extensive "crunching" routine. This is a great method of seeing how they are actually done.

So get with it girl: build the foundation of physical well be- ing, and then make it a lifestyle. Exercise is feminine, it's also healthy and part of being and looking beautiful. I'll be the first to admit that it is a lot of hard work. But if you think about it, so is most everything we do that is

related to a transformation from

male to female (think of how much effort and time goes into doing your hair just right, or doing your makeup).

And like the Nike adds say, the key is to Just Do It. And when you do it, think of it as your foundation to a healthy, sexy, feminine look. Think of it as some- thing you do just for you, girl.

TRANSGENDERED FIELD GUIDE Continued from page 19 that screams of five-year-olds on Easter Sunday.

Sylvia turns and whispers something to Bette, the woman who is with her. Bette is pretty, feminine, well-groomed, five-six and one-thirty pounds. Expen- sively dressed, she looks like a politician's wife who has decided to go slumming- or maybe she is Sylvia's wife. But why is her voice so deep?

Sylvia and Bette are hetero- sexual crossdressers- that is, men who sometimes dress as women. Both are married (well, Sylvia is divorced, for her wife discovered her special suitcase one day and just couldn't handle it and went home to Momma and is now living in L.A. with Sylvia's best old ex-friend Ray). Bette, a ruggedly masculine carpenter in her other life, is a father of two, a good provider, a loving husband. Sylvia is a vice-president of a bank and smokes cigars when not crossdressed. Neither has ever had a homosexual experi- ence- or wanted one- although Bette, because of her beauty, has had plenty of propositions. As Bette, she feels like a woman, and she has fantasized about being made love to by a man, and has even thought from time to time about a sex change. But she loves her family, and she enjoys being a man, and Bette will remain a celibate, part-time phenomenon.

Sylvia and Bette enjoy dress- ing as women. They do as good a job as they are able, although Bette is obviously the more ac-

complished. They are at the Cove because Sylvia would cause an uproar if she were to appear any- where else. She feels comfort- able at the Cove. Accepted. Not understood, for the majority of gay men assume that she is gay, but accepted. Safe. Free from bashing or public humiliation.

Under the lights, Andrea and Samantha are playing pool with two young men who are having trouble keeping their hands off of each other. Andrea, her hair cut short in a bob, wears little makeup, and is dressed in jeans and t-shirt. She comes off as what Samantha calls a DWA- a dyke with an attitude- which is ex- actly the image Andrea wants to project. She likes to scowl at any- one who pays attention to Samantha.

Sam is dressed in the clothes she wore to work; a skirt and blouse and pumps. She wears her hair to her shoulders, and has accentuated her just-short-of- beautiful features with makeup. She is a knockout, in a girl-next- door sort of way.

Andrea and Samantha are pre- operative transsexual people. Or maybe they're post-op. Who can tell? They both live and work as women, and have for years. They look and sound like other women. They have no beards. They have breasts. They have worked hard to change their bodies and their social circumstances, and it has worked. Their former lives as males are but distant memories. This morning, they found them-. selves still ready to party after The Otherside closed, and wended their way to the Cove. They're not here for sexual rea- sons-they've been sleeping with each other for more than two years- but because the Cove, an old haunt back when they were in transition, was the first place they thought of when they decided to put the party on the road.

The woman watching the pool game is Brooke, who finds Sam attractive but isn't about to risk telling her for fear of that DWA with her. Brooke is a genetic fe- male, living as a lesbian, but she has strong transsexual feelings.

TRANSGENDERED FIELD GUIDE

In her sexual relationships with women, she feels as if she were a man- and perhaps she will be one day, for she has recently be- gun to seriously explore her transsexuality.

OK, now it's time for a quiz. Nasty Nookie, the drag queen. Is she gay, or what?

Yes, she's gay. She had the chance to go to bed with a woman once, and the fact that she almost did still frightens her.

Andrea and Samantha, the two transsexual women. They're gay, right?

Right, but only because each is in love with another woman. If they preferred men, they would be straight. And it doesn't make any difference if they've had the "operation" or not. They are women, and womanhood lies be- tween the ears, and not between the legs. Their lovemaking, if they are pre-op (and I'm not saying), is an accommodation, the best they can do with anatomies they never wanted. And if they're post-op, their lovemaking is the same as that of any two women in love.

Is Brooke, the genetic girl with a thing for Sam, gay?

Yes, but if and when she starts living as a man, she won't be. Are Sylvia and Bette gay? No.

Then why are they wearing dresses? Gotcha!

Ok, chowderhead, listen closely, 'cause this is the only time I'm gonna say this: one's sexual orientation has nothing whatsoever to do with one's gen- der.

Say what?

One can be a man or a woman, and one can prefer a man or a woman. The two aren't related. Apples and oranges. Gender is a sense of self. Sylvia and Bette aren't dressed up for any sexual reason, but because they like themselves that way. Sylvia would occasionally express herself as a woman even if she were the last person on Earth, and so would Bette. Andrea and Samantha have become women, just as Brooke would like to become a man, be- cause that is the way they have

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always seen themselves. Only Nasty (who we now see going out the door with her fraternity boy in tow) dresses for sexual rea-

sons.

Remember Sharon? She of the slipping silicone? Sharon is a special case. She's transgendered, but firmly imbedded in the gay community. She is always at the park on Pride Day, was bashed outside the Gallus and again at Ansley Mall, has a gay male lover, reads all the bar publications, and shops primarily at gay-owned businesses. But she's not gay. Like Andrea and Samantha, she's transsexual. Unlike them, she's stuck somewhere in between be- ing a man and being a woman. Her wish to be a woman is as strong as theirs, but her game plan was flawed-not because of her immersion in gay life, but by falling into some of the traps associated with a flashy, superfi- cial gay lifestyle- or any other type of flashy, superficial lif- estyle, for that matter— alcohol, drugs, frequent and unprotected sex, and the silicone that is be- ginning to disfigure her.

Many people in the gay com- munity consider Sharon and Nasty Nookie to be the same- gay men. After all, both appear in public as women sometimes, and as men sometimes; both appear on stage as female impersonators; both are silicone sisters; both have gay male lovers; both have drug and alcohol problems; both hook on the side; both can be found at the Gallus at two in the morning.

But there is a difference, and it's an important one. Nasty is a man, knows it, and is proud of it. Sharon, in her heart, at least, is a woman. She would get rid of any residual maleness if she could; she is just too undisciplined to bring it about.

Despite similarities in lif- estyle and appearance, Nasty and Sharon are worlds apart, and warrant different treatment. Sharon, for example, refuses to use her male sexual apparatus in bed, or even to allow it to be touched. Nasty, as we've already